Quick answer: Choose a mother-of-the-bride or groom dress that matches the wedding's dress code and palette without copying the bridal party: a gown or dressy midi for formal evenings, a lace or chiffon midi for daytime, in a complementary shade, with sleeves or a wrap if you want coverage.
Start with a conversation
Before you shop, talk with the couple. Ask about the dress code, the venue, the time of day and the color palette they have chosen for the wedding party. Some couples have clear wishes, others are happy for you to choose freely. Knowing whether the celebration is a black-tie evening in a ballroom or a relaxed garden afternoon narrows your options quickly and saves you from falling in love with a dress that does not suit the day. It also helps to know how many guests are expected and whether there will be dancing late into the night.
When to start shopping
Most mothers of the bride begin looking about three to four months before the wedding, once the bridal party has chosen their dresses. That gives you time to coordinate colors, order, try the dress on with your shoes and arrange any hemming or tailoring. Traditionally the mother of the bride chooses first and shares her choice with the mother of the groom, so both dresses look good together in the photos without matching exactly. Starting early also means you can shop calmly instead of settling for whatever is left in your size a week before the wedding.
Choosing a color
Pick a shade that complements the wedding palette rather than copying the bridesmaids. Navy, champagne, dusty blue, sage, soft rose and deep plum are popular because they flatter many skin tones and photograph beautifully. Avoid white, ivory and very pale champagne unless the couple asks for them. Black is accepted at many evening weddings today, but check with the couple first; some still prefer a lighter, more celebratory color for the parents. Hold a fabric swatch or a photo of the bridesmaid dresses next to your options to see how the shades sit together.
Length and the dress code
Match the length to the formality. For a black-tie or formal evening wedding, a floor-length gown such as a chiffon maxi dress or a satin column is right. For semi-formal or cocktail weddings, a polished midi or tea-length dress works perfectly. Daytime and garden weddings suit lighter midis in lace or chiffon. If you are unsure, look at what the bridesmaids are wearing and choose a similar length. Tea-length dresses, which fall between the knee and the ankle, are a graceful middle ground for many semi-formal celebrations.
Sleeves and coverage
Many mothers prefer some coverage on the arms, and there are plenty of elegant ways to get it. Sheer lace or chiffon sleeves look light and graceful, cap and flutter sleeves add softness, and a matching jacket or bolero can be removed for dancing. If the ceremony takes place in a house of worship, check whether shoulders should be covered. A lace midi dress with sleeves often answers every question at once.
Fabric and comfort
You will be standing for photos, greeting guests, sitting through dinner and dancing, often for eight hours or more. Choose fabrics that move: chiffon floats, crepe drapes smoothly, and lace adds texture without weight. Look for a lining that feels soft against the skin and a waist that lets you sit comfortably. Try the dress on at home and sit, walk and raise your arms before the big day. Pockets, a soft stretch lining and adjustable straps are small details that make a long day noticeably easier.
Coordinating with the other mother
The two mothers do not need to match, but it is a kind gesture to share colors and lengths. If one mother wears a floor-length navy gown, the other might choose a long dress in dusty blue or champagne. Avoid two very different levels of formality, such as a sequin gown next to a casual sundress. A quick message with a photo of your dress keeps everyone relaxed. Sharing early also gives the other mother time to shop without worrying about clashing colors or very different lengths.
Shoes, wrap and jewelry
Choose shoes you can stand in for hours: block heels, low kitten heels or dressy flats with cushioning. A matching wrap or pashmina keeps you warm in air-conditioned venues and evening gardens. Pearls, crystals and simple drop earrings suit most necklines, and a small clutch holds tissues, lipstick and reading glasses. Keep accessories elegant so the dress and your smile do the talking.
Ordering and fit
Order your dress at least three to four weeks before you need it, so there is time for delivery, a try-on and any alterations. Measure your bust, waist and hips and compare them with the size guide. If you are between sizes in a fitted style, choose the larger one; a tailor can take it in. Browse our mother of the bride dresses or email us for help.
Frequently asked questions
What color should the mother of the bride avoid?
Avoid white, ivory and very pale champagne, and avoid matching the bridesmaids exactly unless the couple asks you to.
Should the mother of the bride wear a long dress?
For formal and black-tie evening weddings, yes; for semi-formal or daytime weddings, an elegant midi or tea-length dress is just as appropriate.
Who chooses first, the mother of the bride or the groom?
Traditionally the mother of the bride chooses first and shares her color and length with the mother of the groom.
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